Suddenly the penny drops.....

So that is it, my boy is on the path of independence and there is not one thing I can do about it, in fact I am supposed to actively encourage it!

Well what if I don't, what then??  So what if I want to keep him by my side for ever and ever, so what if I don't want him to have another important woman in his life, so what if I want my baby boy, my first born, to be mines for ever??

I never understood at the time why my mum and I had such a testing time when I was leaving home, I was 21, she was obsessional, she called all the time, she wanted to know what I was doing, when I was doing and who I was doing it with, she was crazy and me, well I was rude, I ignored her, I ignored the phone, in fact I pretty much didn't speak to her for a few months, I thought I was escaping her talons, I must have been breaking her heart, I know now that I did.

My boy has only gone to school nursery, he is only 3 and already I am dreading the day he leaves me to live his own life, when I am down his priority list.

I am his number one just now, just like my mum was to me for so many years, then I just upped and left and thought SHE was crazy for hanging on, for being concerned, for wanting to make sure I was okay, wanting to know where I was,  was I safe, who I was with were friendly, they were making me happy, that I was happy.  That is all a parent ever wants for their children, is for them to be happy.

My wonderful son has been in school nursery, 2 days, a period of 4 hours in total and already, I have been told, how smart he is, how loving he is, he is intelligent and he is curious about everything, I could not be more proud and of course I knew these things, but it is time to share him and relish how he grows and blossoms in the world.